A Note on the Nature of Love

When the sun comes out, it seems, all the beautiful and attractive females do so as well. After all, however, it does not matter, for once you have met a female who perfectly matches you, it will be more or less impossible to revert to lesser standards; every female past and present shall be measured against her. And the longing for her can not be described in any words. Just to think of her face, her eyes, her smile, and, more importantly, what lies beyond these, sets you ablaze, accompanied by an amazement never to cease. In whatever manners she may deviate from society’s standards of beauty, she will be just perfect for you the way she is, for in time, it becomes more important what you find in her than how attractive she may be on the outside. There is no total independence of outer appearance, to be sure, yet its attraction soon fades when you get used to it; the personality’s attraction, on the other hand, can grow indefinitely, and it reaches one of its greatest hights when you realize that you can actually depend upon each other. For real love is not about needing but complementing one another. And at this point, she will be more beautiful than she has ever been before. Until you realize this, you will never know what love is.


7 thoughts on “A Note on the Nature of Love

    • I don’t tend to measure people I personally like against each other. I don’t think there is a person who perfectly matches me or anyone else. I have never longed for anyone. I am unable to be ablaze. I have never had a problem depending on people I like, so there has never been any great realisation about that.
      And I take exception to your claim that I will never know what love is, although I realize that I may very well never know what love is to you.

    • Now I see what you mean. If I remember correctly, you once wrote you were one of the least emotional people; if this be true, your reply comes as no surprise to me, whereas it would certainly astonish most people to read that you had never longed for anyone, never burnt in the flame of desire.
      I am aware, to be sure, that I make bold claims in the above text; I have no problem with you disagreeing, especially because the text deals with something from an inner perspective and is thus, as you point out correctly, very subjective. It was rather an insight into the potential of my own feelings than in that of humans generally.
      I need to state three things so as to clear things up a bit, though:
      First, I made no claim referring to people one likes in general but as to romantic love. I think, however, that we subconsciously measure those around us, however close they may be to us, against one another. After all, we judge everything for its worth – in countless respects –, and even though we may not want to admit it, all of us have different social values in various social contexts. More primitively, there are people who make us more comfortable than others, and this difference also exists among those we like in whatever manner.
      Second, I did not believe in perfect human matches until I experienced one myself. Now, ‘perfect’ may, taken literally, be exaggerated, if it entail that every detail match. In my understanding, a perfect match entails the right differences and disagreements to keep it interesting without leading to the most extreme fights. The cornerstone of such a partnership, I would insist, is not needing but complementing each other.
      Third, it is far easier to depend upon others if one is not very emotional, because one cannot get hurt too easily, which in its turn is, most probably, due to less emotionally charged expectations.
      Often enough, I wish I were less emotional than I am, yet, it seems, it is something I essentially am, that is to say, part of the core of my nature, so that I cannot alter it more than to a certain, almost irrelevant degree. Emotions are essential to human nature, but they also are what makes us vulnerable, if they be too strong, as to social relationships. This is what I mean whenever I say emotions are dangerous.

    • With topics like this, it’s often a question of subtle differences in the usage of terms. I think we have reached a general understanding of each other’s position and can be satisfied with that.

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