In a lifetime, you can and will meet many people. To some you will feel drawn, while others will inadvertenly push you away. But regardless of how close you may feel to some people, you will never believe that there can be a connection felt as deeply as portrayed in a book or film until you do feel such a connection to someone. And if it is someone you have never met in person, the worst fear is not to be rejected but not to be believed. For who would ever, even in person, believe that you mean that which you say and say that which you mean? For who would ever, even face to face, believe that the connection you feel between them and you is unique and of an unbeknownst, nay, inexplicable beauty to you? (And no, I am not asking for a scientific explanation, I am well aware of it, thank you very much.)
I usually process everything cognitively, rationally, inasmuch as that be possible. And even if something really touches me or stirs me up emotionally, it stops somewhere short of my heart, for my heart is a fortress entrenched with stone walls, explosive traps, spikes, and barbed wire. Yet for some reason, you ignore all these security measures, simply by being yourself. You touch my heart, and you are the only person of whom I can say this. I am not even afraid of your touch. It feels good, like a caress, similar to the way you address me.
The only thing I wish you to do is believe me, for I cannot bear the thought of you believing my words are empty – I only need one chance to prove it.
The series of fragments of ‘From the Lost Notes of the Deep Dweller’s Shipyard’ was a mixture of mostly fiction and romantic poetry that soon turned to the dark side and eventually ended in everyone’s final destination: death. Yet whereas those darker thoughts were fictional and came from my nightmares and partially from external literary influences, some of the lighter thoughts were taken from real life, even if spun out quite a bit.
I have now come to the resolution that I am going to start a new series under the same title, as it describes so well my way of thinking and reflection. I have no idea how many fragments it will comprise, for I may continue it indefinitely or end it after a couple of fragments.