When It All Comes Down To Nothing

Tonight, I feel the lowest that I have felt in a long time. I have begun to suffer from occasional emotional exhaustion again, moments when, after prolonged emotional stress, I cannot feel a thing. I just feel empty, drifting through an endless void. Then, after some sleep or any form of rest, it all comes around again with a vengeance.
The point of writing all of this down and publishing it is lost to me now, just as the one I love. In my last post, I explicitly and urgently asked for feedback regarding the future of this weblog and the possibility of a new start under a different identity. I hereby present to you the results: Nobody cares.
This trivializes the question whether to abandon this weblog. It also reinforces my initial thought that deleting it would probably be the best idea. Last but not least, it brings up the question of why publish anything if nobody cares anyway. Why start over if my work is irrelevant and useless and thus worthless? I can see that now. The massive wall of silence is all the evidence anyone could ever ask for.
This weblog, at any rate, will be pulled at some point during the next couple of weeks. It will require some time to sort out the stuff that I wrote exclusively for this weblog and make a copy for myself. Most of it will not be republished, regardless of whether I should still decide to start over. Currently, I am not inclined to do so, as I cannot see a point in publishing anything any longer.
It all means nothing, after all, and that is exactly what it is worth.
This is goodbye, then. Don’t bother standing up, I’m shutting the door behind me.


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