Excuse

When I say, ‘I was lost’,
I mean that I believed the illusion
of there being a path
when I know all too well
that behind the veil
only the void awaits.

‘I am back on track’ means
that I am back where I started,
in an endless sea of nothingness
and an unbearable lightness of without-you.

I cannot live for my own sake,
my mere existence is a burden
on to my self
which I myself can’t carry.

I’d rather carry you and your burden,
so that standing on my shoulders,
you could reach for the stars,
for my only dream is
to make your dreams come true,
which makes me feel light as a feather.

Yet the laws of attraction demand
that I care nothing about you,
for it is not my attention that you crave;
you just want to indulge in the game
of how to get it
and then regret it
to ditch me without excuse.

But the flame of my candle
will keep burning,
until I fade away,
in the mist of memories
of ages gone by,
my only means of reaching out to you
while we are for ever apart,
and my only excuse
the love I bear you.

Wasteland

All the people in the world,
with all their lives,
with all their deaths,
with all their words,
with all their silence,
with all their promises,
with all their oaths,
with all their dreams,
with all their nightmares,
with all their deeds,
with all their apathy,
with all their gains,
with all their losses,
mean nothing.

Everything is destined to go to waste in the end,
sooner or later,
without question, without doubt.
Only our denial makes it appear different –
as though anything were worth our while.

And when I look into your eyes,
I see you at the end of time:
We are worlds apart.
And when I look into your heart,
I see your doom.
I see your doom approaching.

Kissless

A kiss could light the darkest night,
in endless nightmares full of lies,
yet underneath the forlorn skies,
I am long dead and cold inside.

[On a day like this, there is no hope: drifting away into endless nothingness with nothing left to say.]

Eternities

From the Book of Broken Wings, Chapters II and III:

Chapter II
(…)
On every sunny day in your life, there lies a shadow over everything like an invisible dark veil. It is the reality of life lying in wait, eager to consume itself time and again so as to reverse your experience. There is nothing free in life: the price of a smile is a thousand tears, the price of true love is a broken heart, the price of trust is a knife in your back. Regardless of what you are, what you do, and where you go, whom you love or hate, the shadow shall catch up with you. In the end, the darkside always wins.
(…)

Chapter III
(…)
I have lived through the horrors of endless nightmares, I have been broken to the core and built myself up from the ground again, I have been drifting apart into endless nothingness, I have seen and heard everything there is to see and hear. But if there be one thing left for me to do, then it will be to open up my heart and let the endless love which dwells therein explode so as to chase away the dark spot in your eyes for a single moment of grandeur before darkness shall finally conquer me and enfold me in its cold embrace for ever.